8 funny "The Walking Dead" memes- Dedicated to all the fans out there

on Oct, 25 2013 309118 views


The Mammogram

For years and years they told me,
"Be careful of your breasts.
Don't ever squeeze or bruise them
And give them monthly tests."

So I heeded all the warnings,
Protected them by law,
Guarded them oh so carefully
And always wore my bra.

After all of these precautions
My doctor found a lump
And ordered up a mammogram
To see inside the bump.

"Stand up very close," she said
As she got my boob in line,
"Just tell me if it hurts at all -
Ah, yes, there - that's fine."

She stepped upon a peddle
And I can't believe my eyes;
A plastic plate pressed down and down;
My tit was in a vise.

My skin stretched out so far
From my navel to my chin.
My poor boob was being squashed
To Swedish pancake thin.

Excruciating pain I felt
Within it's vise-like grip.
A prisoner of this vicious thing
My poor defenseless tit.

It squeezed me first from up and down;
Then squeezed me side to side,
I'll bet she's never had this done
To her tender little hide.

If I had a problem when I came in
I surely don't have it now.
If there was a cyst in there
It would have popped - KERPOW!

"There, that was good." I heard her say
As the room was slowly swaying.
"Now let's do the other one."
"Lord have mercy!" I was praying.

This machine was designed by man;
Of this I have no doubt.
I'd like to stick his balls in there
And see how they'd come out!